I was at a family gathering recently when one of my family members brought up some people from my past that were the cause of a lot of pain and anguish in my life. I thought I was over it but as the conversation continued, anger began to surface. Sigh. In a lovingly manner my brother-in-law said, "just get over it now". At first I was a little miffed for what at the time, felt like a lack of empathy. That was until the next morning when I had received a vision during my mediation and prayer time. This vision has been very helpful so I thought I would share it with you.
I saw myself standing proudly, wearing a lot of pins on my chest similar to how a decorated soldier might wear her pins honoring her sacrifices and dedication to her country. The pins I was wearing however, were not badges of honor. Each of my pins represented a time, a person, place, or an event which brought with it much pain. There was a pin from each person whom has abandoned me and when I had needed them the most. A pin from my ex-husband who's betrayal felt like no other. Another pin represented my father who was abusive toward me. There were other pins which represented of all the losses I have suffered and the passing of the people whom I love dearly. My chest was covered in these pins, all constant reminders of the wounds that I have endured throughout my life. And with each glance, I was reliving these painful moments suffering all over again.
In my vision, I was able to sense that it was time for me to let go of the pains of the past and remove these pins. One by one I saw myself un-pining each hurtful memory and placing them in a small wooden box away for good. These pins were not to be disposed of because with each came powerful lessons and growth. However, they needed to be put away until it was the right time to share and for the benefit of others, and not for my benefit.
In the days to follow, whenever a wound from my past surfaced, instead of rehearsing it in my head over and over, I was able to take a moment to visualize myself removing that pin from my chest and placing it safely inside this box. This has become a great visual aid which has freed me from remaining stuck on a hamster wheel of anger, grief and sorrow. I will admit that there have been a few times when I have tried to put one of those pins back on even for just for a moment. But then I remembered how nice it feels to be pin-free so back in it went.
Why is it important to me to stop wearing these pesky pins from my past? I finally realized that in order to experience a life of abundance and joy, now and in the future, I must leave behind the losses, the suffering, and the wounds. I think this has been the hardest of things for me to grasp especially when I get knocked down so hard that it feels impossible to get back up never mind feeling hopeful. But it is necessary. So here I am, pins in a box, asking myself, "Do I want to stay a Victim or be Victorious"? A victorious life is a glorious life. Those pins stay in the box.
The art shared in this blog article, like me, is an imperfect work-in-progress; messy, full of mistakes and may never be completed. Be kind.
♥
Lisa
